here we go

I've been up since Jarrod went to bed at close to 3 am. He woke me up unintentionally with his nightly routine. I was done for, gave up and got up. I am so nervous that my sleep was extremely light anyway. Now it's about 5:30 am and I would only have an hour of sleep if I went back to bed now anyway, so I give up.

I had breakfast, sketched out my opening statement (keywords on my paper), got my briefcase out and took out my suit. I'll be getting dressed in a few minutes. I wanted to be out of here by 7 am, but from the looks of it I might be out before 6:30 am. Which is fine by me - there's a starbucks there if the court isn't open yet. During the morning commute hours traffic always takes longer anyway.

Last night I showered, jarrod gassed up the car and I mentally prepared. I'm not sure why this particular mediation messes me up, I guess cuz I haven't mediated a court case since at least a year ago (I last mediated a normal case in January), and I haven't ever mediated in the courthouse before. At least Colin will be there as second chair as backup, although he's still learning and I can't expect too much from him. I don't want to make him nervous either.

I can't wait for the day to be over and for this to be behind me. I don't know when I'll find out about my aunt. I'm going home after I drop in at work to confer with Fernando. I'm sure I'll be exhausted by then. I might go in tomorrow to help him catch up on cases - as he asked me to earlier this week.

I've learned (on an unrelated topic) that I get painful and blinding migraines that put me in a godawful mood if I run out of celexa. I know better than to stop taking a drug like that. It probably explains my physical ailments yesterday. I don't know if I like that I'm so dependent on it. I am about 60% sure it helps, but that's a big margin of unsure...

I need things to go back to normal so that I can figure out what the hell I'm doing...