Legal Aid loves me, DMC loves me. Nobody can promise me a job after the fellowship is over. I found out all sorts of scary things about why they were doing this fellowship to begin with - like, nobody was getting employed. Period.

Here's a transcript of why I always end up feeling like shit:

Sevara chats '(DRUNK) so how was your interview kiri?'.

You chat 'oh it went great'.

You chat 'they love me'.

Sevara chats '(DRUNK) well thats good'.

You chat 'but they can't hire me after the fellowship because they have a
hiring freeze on'.

Sevara chats '(DRUNK) Ok...clue me in..what is a fellowship?'.

You chat 'I was selected as a "fellow" of my alma mater. They pay me a thousand
dollars to work at any of the local public interest places for 100 hours.'.

You chat 'it's an honor kinda thing'.

Sevara chats '(DRUNK) ohhh...that makes sense...so will you be working there to
get your fellowship then?'.

You chat 'well, to get the money from it. I already was awarded the
fellowship.'.

Sevara chats '(DRUNK) ahh ok'.

You chat 'I can have the job, but I didn't get it officially. I didn't pick it
yet.. I may not pick it'.

Kinda chats 'is the 10$ an hour tax free?'.

You chat 'no, it's not. It's not by any stretch "a good deal"'.

Kinda chats 'so why would you do it? apart from feeling good inside'.

You chat 'My school set up the fellowship for people because none of us are
getting jobs'.

You chat 'the economy is crap for lawyers, and frankly, we're mostly
unemployed'.

You chat 'it's a) money and b) something to do while looking for another job'.

Kinda chats 'do you have unemployment benifits over tere?'.

You chat 'My husband is working.'.

You chat 'but thanks for making my little glimmer of happiness feel like shit,
Kinda'.

-------------------

Don't worry, he recovered from my snapping. Nobody but Jarrod understands the way I feel and how much things suck. Well, except for the guy at Legal Aid. He told me nobody is getting jobs, so to keep the graduate employment stats up (and thus our rankings) the school had to throw money at us through this fellowship.

I feel kinda used.

I have class today and I am NOT looking forward to it. I have this sinking feeling it's going to be a lot of repetition.