So, things improved. Jarrod got his car fixed and I applied to a ton of jobs that were sitting around. Turns out the job fair is actually later TODAY, which is good, and I'll go to it. Guess no drag queen bingo tonight, though. Very sad. I know, you're going to cry for me.

*makes some instant coffee, runs out*

Wow, another thing we need but can't get due to the strikes. *grumble grumble*

Ok, well today the plan is to do dishes and some laundry. Then go to the job fair and suck up to anyone who will have me. Or, alternatively, hit the bank, go to pep boys and buy my mirror glue, a new mirror, and a for sale sign, and do the dishes. Either way something's getting done today, damnit!

I was thinking about how things always seem to be one thing after another... maybe it's because the alternative to bad things is just.. normal, ordinary days. We haven't had a lot of happy times.. but we've had a lot better times now than we did when we started out. Anyone who thinks starting out a new life together with someone is easy must have had everything handed to them. I remember when I first moved out here and everything was frickin hard as hell. My friend Derek had such sympathy for me and told me it wasn't always LIKE that.. and he was right. In a few years, things got a bit easier...

But now here I am, considering one ton of crap is lighter to carry than ten tons of it. It's still impossible to balance it all at once and I still want to.

Ever read something you wrote and go.. woah, I wrote that? I just had a moment with that... Here it is for your perusal...

"Los Angeles is just a series of images. Since that’s how it views itself, I don’t feel sorry thinking of it in that way.

Bougainvillea fingers of fuschia, curling up around shops and signs and walls. Even in the winter, it glows with the promise of warm afternoons. I notice it, hiding like a thief in corners, overlooked or unnoticed. I keep expecting some sort of a sign, the floral equivalent of a wink.

It is always too bright – the white fire of the sun stinging my eyes and burning sides of buildings. The heat radiates up from the asphalt, the less fortunate who are stranded outside waiting for the bus look beaten down and wilted, as if they were slowly cooked.

Los Angeles is on a larger scale than other cities. Unexpected mountains shoot up between city streets. It sprawls out, filled with the famous greasy spoon restaurants and their knock-off offspring, the donut shops, and the South American and Asian stores selling religious icons or ethnic foods. At first, seeing the landmarks and the jokes – you might think Los Angeles is a caricature of itself. The famous streets, the famous places, the famous people. Celebrities who order their café latte while on their cell phone with their agent. But it’s a real, breathing entity.. phony as hell, but alive. And everything you expected it to be, and more, and in some ways, much less.

Do you truly expect to see Conan O’Brien at the next table at Hamburger Hamlet? Do you really think you’ll see Kevin Spacey walking into the coffee shop where you just bought your tea? Do you really think, when contemplating moving to LA, that you’ll see the newest Ferraris, the huge single-family homes in Beverly Hills, the Rodeo Drive from television? Oh you do.. and more.. It’s all real, just like you dreamed.

But then there’s your own reality. So – my own reality was much different. Not the worst anyone could have in Los Angeles, not by any means. I know that, even now."